|
|
| *Vultures Knob>>>Street Bike |
Are my parents too strict? What can I do? |
My parents are Vietnamese, so this is different than American's definition of strict. 1) I'm 16 years old and I'm not allowed to wear shorts to school because my parents think shorts aren't appropriate enough. 2) I dress similar to a normal American 16 years old (no bad shirt, saggy or ripped pants though) and my parents never once approve how I dress. I try to tell them that I like it and am sure that it has nothing wrong. They wouldn't listen and make me change according to their view (which needs update) 3) My dad keeps saying how when he was young, he was always in the street riding bike with his friend. I can't even leave the house to ride a bike without asking permission. My friends always try to invite me to ride bikes but I never can because my parents wouldn't let me. 4) They always think my friends are all bad, saying how they don't like me hanging out with my friends. I try to reason with them, saying "I'm 16, I know how to get out of peer pressure" and I do. I'm not sure how Vietnamese would view it, but from where I am sitting there's nothing terrible going on here. 1) I can definitely understand someone feeling like shorts would not be appropriate for school. In the work environment (which, I know, is probably not something you are interested in hearing about right now) there are lots of people who think professional dress is one of many things that contribute to a productive environment. If you agree with that, it seems logical to apply that to a school environment, too. 2) Maybe here I could side with you a bit more, but only with some more specifics. The fact is that your actions will reflect on your parents. Yeah, we don't care for it much, either. But it happens. If you go out looking like a punk - even a relatively well dressed punk - then people are going to make assumptions about your parents. This was something I, personally, had to loosen up on quite a bit, and right around the point my stepson was 16. 3) This one was a bit confusing. I think often times teens see things as "asking permission" and adults see it as "keeping informed." They may just want to know where you are in case something comes up and they need to find you. Of course, it could also play into your fourth point... 4) I think most teens have a sense of "invulnerability". In fact, if I dug out one of my textbooks from college, I'm sure it says that in there. So, when you say that you know how to get out of peer pressure, I wonder if that is what they are reacting to? In any event, what I didn't see you say is that your friends are good, upstanding young people, of high moral character, who are civic minded, yadda yadda yadda. If your parents sense that you are hanging out with a "good crowd" you might be surprised what you can get away with. You might try helping your parents get to know your friends a bit better. Share good things your friends have done with your parents - and NOT just when you are getting ready to ask them for something. Share with your parents who your friends are, what you like about them, how you feel like they help you, and so on. You might recommend having a cookout, or inviting your friends over to help with some big project at the house. It doesn't sound like you are being abused or neglected, which is good - alot of kids are, unfortunately. So, even if they are, in fact, being a bit strict, just take comfort in the fact that in a couple of years you'll be able to go out on your own and make your own mistakes. Just don't be surprised if you end up hearing a few "I told you so"'s around that time. :) Just honor your father and mother. That is you job right now. yeah, it sounds like they need to loosen up on the umbilical cord a bit. yes they are stict but they just want the best for you. try to sit them down and tell tem how u feel, if that doesnt work.... then... Yeah, there too strict. Are you living in America? cause if you are, they need to let go and adapt to the american lifestyle. I think most 16 year olds feel like their parents are too strict & controlling. I'm sure it isn't fun for you right now, because you know that you're a smart kid and you want more freedom but they are your parents and you just have to respect what they say. It's nice that your parents are active in your life and want to know what's going on. There are a lot of kids who's parents dont pay attention to them and give them all the freedom they could want, but those kids aren't getting any favors. Just wait it out, and try to understand that it will all be worth it in a few years. I'm 21 and my mom still will be sure to let me know if she doesn't like something I wear :) thats just part of having parents! well your parents aren't bad people...they care about you and since they wouldn't handle this world being your age....they think you probably wouldn't either. they are very old fashined and just freak out with what is going on right now... i can't say do what you want and don't listen to them because thats not right...just try to reason with them...after all you are smart enough not to make mistakes if given the opportunity to do what you want. they love you they need to know that restricting a kid from a lot of things is not good....for you that is, sorry dude i don't know what to say..i don't want to say the wrong thing...i'll leave it up to the rest of the community of yahoo answers. good luck! |
| Tags |
| Mini Bike Chopper Bike Pit Bike Dirt Bike Sport Bike Street Bike Exercise Bike Stationary Bike Recumbent Bike Bmx Bike |
Bike Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster |