What do you think I should do?

I'm 49 years old. I don't have any grandchildren I have a grown son & one that passed away at 20. I stopped worrrying about alot of things & now I don't really want to do alot. I am happy though with what I do. I read alot of spiritual books & try to help people when I can with what I learn. I don't work. I like to sit on my stationary bike most of the time & answer or ask questions. I feel like I should be doing something. My son started a construction business & my husband is working at that. We gave up our jobs we hated after our son passed away. & borrowed money from a home equity loan. I pay my bills but I could be making money to pay it all off but I am happy doing what I am doing & figure the new construction business can pay off the bills eventually. What do you think I should be doing or do you think it sounds like I am doing fine?

I think you should..... follow your childhood dream. You know, whatever dream job you had, that window is open now.

As long as you feel you are happy, I guess that is all that matters. What about volunteering. I did that for awhile when I was not working. It brought alot of joy into my life.

First - I'm very sorry to hear of the loss of your son. I'm 53; my own son is 27, and I can't imagine losing him.

What *I* or anyone thinks you "should" do is not very important. Instead of pointing in a specific direction, there are two VERY good books that I'd like to recommend; they're by a woman named Barbara Sher (prounounced like Cher of Sonny and Cher fame...). She is a therapist and career counselor, but she was also a single mother on welfare before she got her act together, so she's been through a few tough times herself. Her books are practical; they are not books about religion. The books are:

"It's Only Too Late If You Don't Start Now: How to Create Your Second Life at Any Age" and "I Could Do Anything If I Only Knew What It Was: How to Discover What You Really Want and How to Get It " (links below - Amazon sells good clean used copies if money is an issue for you as it is for me).

Her thoughts, in the proverbial nutshell, are, "If you were lying on your deathbed, what are the thing(s) that you would regret not having done?" She helps you understand how to answer that question, and then how to get from point A to point B and actually DO them. She points out potential "dream killers," too - some of the best material in the book - and how to overcome them.

She also has a web site (http://www.barbarasher.com ); you can sign up for mailing lists if you like, buy her materials there, and so on (although used is less expensive, as I said :-) )

If you can get hold of some of her PBS specials on DVD, they are an exceptional resource, and I think they're well worth the money. She is probably one of the biggest reasons that I, at age 53, am in school studying botany and biochemistry for my PhD :-)

If I can do it, you can too! Good luck!

I think you're just over it, know what I mean...and maybe a lil depressed. But the fact that you're spiritual and physically active makes me worry a lil less. I think the loss of your son had a lot to do with everything...and truthfully, I think you'll be OK...!!!!! You're in my prayers.

check out there.com

You have a good balanced life. You seem happy, but not excited about life. I think you need some spice. Isn't there anything fun you'd like to do? Ballroom dance, jazz, centering prayer class, exercise class that's fun, scrapbook, art class? You are in a position many women would want...so enjoy the heck out of it. Also, how about getting involved with the new business. I love working with men esp. those who get their hands dirty. They are so much fun...joking with, listening to. Are you good with figures? Maybe help with the record keeping or paperwork. Typing, filing...light stuff. You'll feel part of the success of the business, busy yourself and have something to look forward to....dress professional/casual to feel good and look the lady. Me...I'd bring in a cake for the guys once in awhile. I'm sorry for your loss. But you are a wonderful example of putting sorrow in it's place and getting on with life. Bravo! Is there a foundation related to how your son passed that might interest you? Volunteer...it feels so good.

Start a world of warcraft account.

If you are happy with what you are doing, and no one else in your life is giving you any grief over it, then why are you questioning it. You have the right to be happy. If your husband is okay with you staying home, then the guilt you are putting on yourself is counterproductive and unnecessary. *sm*

I so agree with the first guy, the only thing better than Y!A is WOW!

You feel like you should be doing something?
Plant a flower, nuture it, care for it, watch it grow. Then plant another.
Trust your divine for guidance.

Is there any group in your community that helps those in need? You could consider joining them and working with people, the choice is yours.

Go to work. It is good for more than just money. I am 64 and retired. But not for much longer. I am sick of it already. There is a demand for skilled workers and I don't need benefits. One can get around all the obstacles set in place to insure that you vegetate. I don't ever intend to let the Ba****ds get me down!

I think you should follow your heart's desire. Also, do some volunteer work and help your son any way you can. I do think you might be lonely and maybe a little sad. You need to get out and live life. Ride a real bike!! Just my opinion.

God Bless.

You could volunteer your time. You would probably find it rewarding to help with premature babies, work with the special Olympics, be a scout leader, read books at the library to kids, or deliver meals to people who can't get out, work with a hospice center.... there are tons of organizations that could use someone just like you!

Skip the spiritual books, apart from that you're doing fine.

<but I am happy doing what I am doing >

There's your answer.

Do some volunteer work. Nothing makes you feel better then volunteer work and helping others. I'm on the board of directors of a home owners association and run a social club, all to try and help seniors have a little better life. It's not much, but they really appreciate it more then I know. I may in the future become a mental health advocate too.

I think you have done incredibly well. I would fall apart if it were me to be honest. If your happy ..then don't worry..take up a hobby in something..night school perhaps...college, there are always new depths to find out about ourselves..you may have a talent you didn't know about...shame to waste it all on the computer! I think it's great that you and your husband are together still, a lot of times a death of a child can be breaking point...you've done well to still be in one peace and I respect you for that.

Love & Light

I THINK YOU SHOULD KEEP THE FAITH!! I am 49&have been a stay home Dad for 1yr. We have two kids,a 19yr old who has her own apartment&a16yr Son who is in 11th grade in H.S. It is a job taking care of the houshold dutys!!! So I say if your bills are getting paid&YOU ALL ARE NOT STARVING! Just follow you HEART&KEEP THE FAITH!!! I AM DEEPLY SORRY ABOUT THE LOSS OF YOUR SON!!!!!!