Mountain bike
*Vultures Knob>>>Mini Bike

Just started to write poetry but i think it's pathetic what do u think?


she had a leather mini skirt, way above her knees.
her fisher net stockings puckered up they would not keep out a breeze.

her hair was long & golden blonde all gathered in a scrunchie, with curly ringlets where they took her fancy.

her fingers decked by golden garlore enough to stack a jewellery store, bright braclets on each wrist she wore, she could not fit on anymore.

pink midriff bare aboe the waist blue boobtube woefully sagging, & bright red was the ladys lips but youth was sadly lacking.

she jumped aboard her pulsing bike & with a grin she said "filling in with a number ain't a sin".

the boys to their harleys they ran & followed her with glee, while shouting out with all their might "Hey baby, wait for me"

wow! that actually really is pretty good!! very good word choice

you need to break some of the verses up physically so that the rymes stack better when reading.

Pink midrif bare.....sagging <next line>
and bright...........lacking
she....grin <next line>
.....sin

thats just a minor cosmetic thing. the poem has your most basic poetry down pat. a story with ryme.

Its not BAD. And if you just started its a good start. You stayed on track of the subject, kept the rymes flowing, and it ended quite well actually.

The section with the fingers galore, store, wore, anymore seemed out of place considering the rest of the lines were "two hitters" and that one was four.

But I dont want to sit here and pick it apart. Good show!

well, it pretty good, but I agree with the above comment, have some other topic than what you already have.

Yeah it's alright.

um...you have potential.
keep trying. maybe a different subject.

You've got the hots for someone?

BOING!!!!
It worked for Me!!

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