What should I do about grandparents who won't spend any time with my kids?

I have 3 children and my father has stated that he would only take one at a time. I would need 2 sitters. My children are 12, 9, 7 and well behaved. My parents are healthy and aged 60 & 65. My husbands parents are 64 & 70. My husbands 70 father had polio as a child and is handicapped and is in a scooter cause he can't walk. But what he lacks in physical ability he makes up for with his social abilities. He plays cards with them, shows them about gardening and cooking. They take all 3 of my children at least once a month overnight and look forward to it each time. My parents don't do a damn thing with my kids and when my dad is on vacation in the summer they never call to see if they could take the kids for the day and do something. My son has played baseball for 4 years and they have attended 1 game. My husbands parents will go to as many as they can. My mother says it's my fault they aren't involved. As a grandparent shouldn't you just get involved without being asked to?

Just clarify for me how it is supposed to be your fault???

It seems like you're trying but what exactly does your mom think you do that prevents them from seeing their grandkids??

Some grandparents don't get too involved as they finally want to enjoy their own lives. Since these are your parents, were they involved in your life as a child?

My grandparents (my mother's parents) were never involved in my life and my father's parents lived too far away.

Was there a time you drove your parents away like the rest of the crowd by using your children against your parents for no reason? I'm finding it very hard to believe that "all" parents are behaving like children these days.

I doubt there's anything you can do about this, it's their choice. Keep inviting them to sporting events, school plays, to your home for dinner, etc. Take them drawings the kids make, let your kids be involved with them. Visit with the kids. Don't ask them to babysit. This way your kids will be spending time with them. You can find yourself another person to babysit.

As a grandparent you don't HAVE to do anything. Although you would think that you would WANT to. It's obvious that your parents don't have the same temperament or stamina as your in-laws. This isn't a crime. I absolutely love my 5 grandchildren to death - but sometimes it's hard to have them all to myself for an extended period of time. They are a handful! And they are well behaved - just normal active children. I just get exhausted!
You say your mother blames your for them not being involved? Hummm sounds that there is more to this story than you are telling.

Some grandparents are like your parents. I lived for about 2 and a half years with my father parents, I was a very little girl and my grandp....never care much about me...yes, it hurts, but there is nothing we can do. Thery used to be like that with me and my sister and brother, only beacuse they didnt like my mother....
With the time, we went back tolive with my dear mother and my grandp....never invited us to go to see them or anything...
Let me tell you something....you can not change people, if your parents are the waty they are, just do not go to visit and if they ever invite only one of your kids, you should tell them, "no thank you, I do have 3 kids and dont like you to make differences", if they relly want to be grand parents, they have to do it the right way.
Mean while, enjoy your husbands parents, I can tell they really are good grandparents and with the time, your kids, will care more for the nice grandp. they have.
If your parents do not want to be grandp....justo do it their way, do not ask them to baby sit.
take care

There is no law that says a grandparent has to babysit.

Be glad that your father is honest enough to tell you how many children he thinks he can handle at a time.

You wouldn't want him to take all 3 and then something happened because he wasn't equipped to handle a problem

This doesn't mean he loves them any less....it may show that he loves them too much to chance anything happening to them.

Did your parents do things with you as a child? It sounds like they are not into kids at all. You cant make people be interested in something theyre not.
You said your mother said its your fault....did you ask her in what way?
Some kids have no grandparents so I guess you should be glad your husbands are. Be grateful for that.
Also you said your kids are well behaved but all parents think their kids are angels. Maybe your parents dont think they are.
Unless a reason is given its hard to advise. I would investigate and find out exactly why they arent interested in your kids.

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I'm going though the same situation you are.

But mines' a bit different.

My mother has been there for me since the first day we knew I was pregnant with my first and only son. She's so close to my son.

I have a sister with three kids...5,3,1. My other won't visit them as much as she visits my son. She said that when my sister had her first child 5- she pushed my mom always as well has dad. So she doesn't dare to get close to my other two nieces and nephew. She's scared to get hurt... how?

Well sister pushed her away once. She's scared that if she gets close to her first grandchild again..and the two new grand-daughters, that my sister might push her again like she did with her first child.

Mom calls me every day to ask about my son. She hardly calls my son.

Your parents might not be like you want them to be with your kids, but don't give up. How far on distance are they?...let that go. Maybe they do just want to be that way. Send them some pictures' of the kids. Saying that they miss them and love them dearly.

Big Lots- Has this small scrapbook album that fits 21 photos, try getting that- it's only a dollar.

Take it easy, ...talk to your parents.. why aren't they closer to their grand-children.

Best Of Luck