What are your rules for having your child's friend over at your house?

We moved in to this development 3 weeks ago. The kids across the street are rowdy and ill behaved. Our child has austim and is quiet- but he takes care of his toys and is very well-behaved.

These kids walk in- they do not knock. They open the refridgerator without asking- and when they drop food- they leave it on the floor- no joke! Same thing with wrappers and the like.

My child's scooter was broken by them last week- so they are not allowed to use his toys anymore.

Not to mention the fact that they leave the door to the outside open- I have no idea where their manners are. The other kids in the neighborhood are not like this- just the ones from this family. I feel bad about excluding them- and it's not easy for our son either- he has to stand up for himself- and it's hard enough for him to tell kids his own name. I think that is a lesson in assertiveness though.

How would you handle this???

sorry, I spelled refrigerator wrong- too many fingers working the keyboard.

I did lock the door- it's after my son is outside that one will walk in. Tonight- I was nursing our 9 month old and two of the 3 walked in. I cannot leave it locked our our son cannot get in when he needs to. I have never met kids like this before- I am a teacher- but I am saying in my home.

1. Lock your door. If you don't learn how to do this now, you will regret it later when those kids are older and waltzing into your unlocked home, with guns.

2. What are you thinking letting your son waltz in and out whenever he pleases. Children need boundaries. Set hours where he can leave, come back in and have friends over. And set rules like no children in the kitchen without your permission. Do it when they are still young and have some kind of fear/respect for you. it will get harder when they are older and wielding weapons.

3. Lock your door! I don't have children but you will never find my door unlocked even when I am having a party. It is your first line of defense against an attack and can buy you ver precious life saving seconds in an emergency. You have a 9 month old, for crying out loud. Lock your door.

4. I have worked with autistic children, they need a routine. All children need some kind of a routine. Do it now, it only gets harder later when you let them develop bad habits. Don't just let him get away with stuff doing thins all willy nilly because you don't want to hurt his feelings.

Put a lock on your door. I'm not trying to be rude or sarcastic. I'm with you on this. It's your house, your rules. Simple.

Go to the families parents/guardians and talk to them about it. Tell them if one more incident happens that could have easily been controlled, then they can no longer visit your house. They can still hang out just not at your house. You should not suffer from their children's misbehavior.

That is sad--these children either are not socialized well or they are neglected. You must set clear, firm boundaries with them several times. Eventually they will respect your rules. Be careful though--kids really do crave structure, and if you're the only place they get it then they may end up spending even more time with you--they may just feel more secure or something.

As a favor, I ask you to not be too judgemental towards them. They sound too young to know better in some cases and too ignorant (lacking knowledge) in other cases. They sound like victims, and that is sad. I won't excuse their behavior--it is inappropriate--but there is probably a good explanation for how they act.

I work with kids like this a lot, and often it is just a generational cycle. Looking down on them only helps perpetuate a negative view of themselves that they probably already have.

i would talk to the parents.. it honestly not the childs fault, its lack of parenting.. Ive had a few of my daughters friends like this and I pretty much lay the law down.. I make them come help clean up and we dont do another activity til the previous mess is cleaned. Set rules and boundaries for then while they are in your house, it is YOUR house! Let them know they may NOT go in the refrigerator without permission, they MUST eat at table, CLEAN their OWN mess or they may not be allowed to come back. It actually worked for me. It sucks at first cause I feel like a policeman watching their every move but eventually they got it down, and now that they are all teenagers, my house is always clean and they cook too :)

My children's friends become my kids when they are in my home. They live by my rules, I yell at them, get onto them and reward them just like I do my own children. They help clean up, they are required to help my children with chores, and they all love me and think of me as a second mom because of it. I would try telling these boys that you would really like for them to be friends with your son but their behavior is not acceptable. Tell them what is expected, and reward them with praise and hugs when they do what is appropriate. Sounds like these kids only have a sperm and egg donor, not parents. They could probably use some love and when youshow them that they will be eager to do whatever you ask of them in order to get more affection and attention from you.

You didn't say the ages of the children. It's only been 3 weeks - there is a newness factor here. If the children are under 12 - and you have to be inside caring for the baby, be near enough to the door to be able to actually extremely firmly tell those children "Out! Get out of my house!" If you have time you can explain that they are not invited into your house without knocking first - and stick to that. Talking to the parents will probably not do much - the nut doesn't fall far from the tree, ifyouknowwhatImean.... Be VERY strong with children like this - I've been here. If there is hope for them, they will adhere to your rules, but you have to be very stringent with them at first and see how they respond. Also tell them that they cannot eat at your house - "it may interfere with their family's meal plans..." - whatever. If, somehow, they manage to open your fridge door - holler at them to "get out"! People like that won't have hurt feelings - they are testing their limits, and have not been taught manners to begin with. I don't know the aspects of autism, but if it were my son, I don't think I'd want him to be learning that kind of behavior under these circumstances. Good luck - if the children are young enough, maybe you could teach them something about etiquette.

sounds like these kids are rude, disrespectful and are just plain pigs, You are the boss in your home.and you say what goes on.. you need to be a little more meaner and let them know they either act appropriate or they leave.. when my son has his friend/friends over,,, they are not allowed to just come in and out of the house, there is no eating all over the place and they need to watch their manners.. if they don't I SEND THEM HOME... there is no toy swapping of any kind.... you need to be firmer and if they don't want to come over cause they think you are mean..then........all the better sounds like there wouldn't be any love lost here over these kids.. good luck

Hold a cane in your hand and when that naughty kid comes in, threaten to beat him and scare him out of your house.