For the Guys! What makes a man so stubborn to keep him from accepting assistance or help?

My man has a spinal injury. He doesn't appear of it by looks alone but he can't walk far or stand for very long with out being in alot of pain. I want him to get a power scooter-chair for going out so he doesn't have to push pressure on his spine when walking. I think it will save him alot of pain and it will help him get out of the house so he isn't so cooped up and depressed. I want him to be able to go to the zoo and places like that with the kids. I really do think it will help him get back into life. Why is he being so stubborn? How can I talk him to it so he can have some type of life back? Why do men always have to be stubborn and do it the hard way? Some insight would be helpful for me to understand him. He is only 36 if that helps and this has been going on for almost 2 years now. Thank you in advance for your responses.

we have to have our pride. if we have any slight thought that we can do something we are gonan do it ourselves. we will onyl ask for help when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that we cant do it

his pride is getting in his way.

it really is just a guy thing, guys do that because they dont want to be embarassed or ashamed of needing the help...you should just sit down with him and tell him that you really want to give him some help because it will make your life easier knowing that he is doing better, and that he'll be able to spend more time with the family...

good luck i hope this helped!

Some men are just too proud to accept welfare assistance or any kind of help they rather do it themselves. even though they might be in pain. talk to him and convince him its ok to ask for assistance if it will enhance and endure his life more explain to him, its a chance for you to spend more quality time with him doing your favorite things and enjoying life.

Wow, that's a tough one. I think there are degrees of stubborness. Instinctively, I am the same way, but will accept help to a point. Most men like to feel like the provider in a relationship and feel inadequate when receiving help. Please don't look at him as stubborn...he can't help it....it is what's inside of him and he can't change the way he feels. Instead of arguing your frustration with him, just understand him and nicely present ways to help.

Men who are not at full physical capacity are often fussy and act like they are less of a man. There isnt much you can do... some anti depressants may help him.

He wants to be in control and for me what is going on with him I'd probably feel the same. It's hard but just talk to him assure him that all is OK, Maybe consider Therapy too.

As I guy, I am 50 years old, and I WAS always been unhappy accepting the help of others.

For me, it was the fear to someone saying NO to my request, so I never asked. I just did not want to risk it.

I have been with many women who combined have finally taught me that is OK to accept help.

The need to be the breadwinner was always present in my phychie.


Try to find others who have his medical problem and see if one of them would be willing to visit your man for an hour or so.

Your man may benefit from seeing someone else who has lived your man's problem and improved his life.

You are probably not going to have the ability to reach deep down inside your man because he can always say to himself that you do not know what he is experiencing.

Getting someone into your man's life for a discussion who has already experienced your man's issues and is still living life may help your man see how much he can accomplish.

When I was 36 I was just like him, so I know he can change. You can just help him change by introducting him to someone who has already had his experiences.

I hope this helps you as much as it could help him.

I am also very stubborn and can not give you a clue on what to do for that. I hope you do find out so I can read it and it may help me.
I can help you to understand your husbands thoughts regarding a scooter. I am a nurse and have worked with spinal cord injuries. First of all, he is lucky to be able to walk and appear normal. Many have no choice about a chair. The problem lies with the stigma a 36y.o. man feels when confined to a scooter or chair. He believes everyone is looking at him and thinking he cannot please his wife sexually. I know it sounds wierd but many chairbound patients cannot have intercourse because they do not have erections, let alone the mobility to do it. So, you have to reassure him that he satisfies your every need and then he will not fell as self conscious in the scooter.
Also, if he is depressed it will make his pain worse and he will become more depressed. Get him treated for the depression and he may have the energy to go out and do things with you and the kids. As he feels less depressed his pain may lessen and maybe you will not need a scooter at all. Good Luck to all of you.

First of all, I am sorry for the accident your family faced.and assure we the member of this society have full sympathy with u.
secondly , it is not the Man which behaves like this, but it is human nature and is called ego.It is a good thing if used in justified way,but like any good thing, excess is never good, and falls in the category of mental disorder. Your man is now suffering from a type of obsession or a depressive neurosis and may be benefited by psycho-medical treatment. U may consult some psychiatrist in your vicinity. For the time being u may try some 5 H T re uptake inhibitors like FLUOXETINE or CITALOPRAM, along with ALPRAZOLAM.