Who the Hell Punched All Those Holes in My Wall?

I wake up this morning in my parents' basement--I've been sleeping there since Jolene took the kids and moved out of state--and there's all these holes in the wall. Everything has been trashed in my little makeshift bedroom. Who the hell punched all those holes in my wall. My friend Ronnie and I went out drinking last night, that's all I remember. I recall us down at Scooters having High Life cans. I had a few boilermakers too. Anyway, I musta tried my magic on three different chicks and got turnded down three times, maybe six times cause I think I gave each a chance to reconsider. The last I remembered, I was getting in my car, but when I woke up this morning, there's the car parked up on the lawn and pieces of grass torn up.So who punched the holes in the sheetrock? That's all I want to know? And who put the bruises on my hands? And who scrawled, "You're a God damn loser" all over the walls in my handwriting nonetheless. Who coulda done this. Oh, my boss called to say I'm fired.

I didn't hear a thing, the dueling banjos were too loud.

My ex-hubby did that regularly when he was mad at me.

haha....u did... u were drunk and dont remember...but i think u did

Oh man, Tom Petty and Jackson Browne are up to their pranks again!

wow, thats harsh,

LMAO!!!!

No one did..those are rats!

ah being wasted, is there anything you can't cause me to do?

It was that crazy drunken woodpecker, I told you not to give him any more to drink.

Mike Dexter got drunk last night and trashed the place in memory of the ex....
He is so gonna hate himself in the morn when he realizes what he has done...

Damn those little elves. They get into everything. You can't take your eyes off of them for a minute.
I want to know, after a night of drinking, who keeps putting me on the bathroom floor naked.
So, when you find yours out let me know so I know who to look out for!

That would be my cat. You ran over her catnip toy the other day.

You don't suppose your ex showed up at the bar and followed you home to gang up on you after hitting on the chicks at the bar. Sorry for your loss. I think you ought to cut back on the High Life cans. Sounds like your high life caused you to be canned. I would sort this situation out really quick and regroup your future.

it was that little guy inside your head named bubba. he's the one who is getting you all the turn downs from women too.

so here's what you got to do...
take a little blue pill and he will go away....

but loved that chance to reconcider.... u r a hoot!!!!