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Other kids don't seem to like my son -- why?? |
My son is 10. He has hardly any friends, and I just don't know why. He's not bossy, mean, violent, rude or anything like that. He stutters, but I don't see why that should have an influence on making friends. We try to invite other kids over every week, and usually they come over and they all play nicely. But they never invite my son. We just moved to a new neighborhood, and everything should be just great -- he can ride his bike, skate, play outside with no danger. There aren't any kids on our street, but a couple of streets over there are. When my son cruised by there on his bike, he was greeted with "What do you want, you a%$hole?" These kids don't even know him. Anyway, the question is -- how can I make it easier for my son to make friends? Sorry this was so long! I have no answer. But I was one of those picked on kids. My parents moved out of a rough neighborhood to a better one, and that helped some. Get him involved in places where there are GOOD kids with adult supervision. I went every Wednesday to an after school church program where we played, had dinner, bible study, choir, and my parents picked us up at about 7. I had Boy Scouts on Monday nights, and we learned a lot and had fun weekend camping trips... Sports can help him learn to fit in. He will have to adapt to be on a team, and there is nothing wrong with learning to fit in. I feel bad for him, but he will get through it, and if he is as great as you said, then he will be a fine adult. My mother used to feel TERRIBLE when I would come home crying, and she would tell me to ignore them. Ignoring them never worked, it just made them try harder. But she loved me and would hold me and I remember that... She died last year of cancer, and having those memories of the times when she showed me unconditional love are the memories that you want your son to always have about you too... Good luck... Some people even as children put out the wrong vibes. The stuttering? I think it is a sign that he is too shy to be able to make friends....and shyness is sometimes a sickness that can't be taken of in a person, maybe find a therapist for your son or counselor or a psychologist....that'll help Awww. I feel so bad for your son, and he's only 10. =( Well, I'm a teenager, but i think i remember why i didn't like kids when i was young. I think it was because they were awkward or liked strange things. Maybe because of his stuttering people think that he's a "weirdo". Does he pick his nose? Hah, i know its a weird question, but maybe that's why. ;p Other then that, when i was a kid, I got along with plenty of people, but not the people I thought were "strange". I'm so sorry for your son. =( kids can be so mean and for no reason at all. continue making the play dates and give it more time. If he stutters - is he in speech therapy? my son stutters and some kids see it as different and dont know how to react to him. therapy is helping and now I know what to do at home to help him. please look into this. give it a little more time and talk to your son and make sure he knows some kids are mean and he doesn't have to be friends with them. I'm sure in time he will make friends. 1-2 good friends is all he really needs. it will come. good luck It might be the stuttering. Fact is, kids are cruel. They'll ostracize anyone who is different or isn't like them. Also, it might be the way your son looks. If he's underweight or overweight or wears glasses or has braces, that may be the source of the problem. Again, kids are cruel and judge other kids based on their looks. They really aren't mature enough to look beyond looks and see people for who they are. Even when I was 10, I really only had two friends. I was kind of dirty, then, though. (I only washed my hair once a week, skipped brushing my teeth sometimes, etc.) I was also very shy and quiet. That was seven years ago, though. Now, I wash my hair daily and brush and floss twice a day. I'm still a little shy, but I'm much better now. And I have a good share of friends. So at least take some comfort in knowing that it could get better. Really, the only thing I think you can do for your son is see if he wants to join some kind of activity outside of school. Kids can make a lot of friends when they join something. See if he wants to go for karate or Little League. Also, if your son looks awkward like I did at his age, maybe help him spruce up a bit. Of course he should still be himself, but just help him a little appearance-wise (like if he doesn't wash his hair often enough like I did, encourage him to have good hygiene). Also, maybe you could get him a nice haircut or some cool clothes. Seems shallow, but really, kids can be so mean when it comes to people's looks. Anyway, good luck. I hope things get better for your son. :) Get him involved in activities. Something he likes, like a sport or an instrument. He will find his niche. I didn' t find mine until high school when I joined the band....it's different for everyone. But don't stress over it, it will only make him feel badly. Good luck! |
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