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Strange Mother in Law problem? Kids birthday and Christmas gifts? |
My mil is a nice enough lady, a little bit opinionated, but otherwise ok. The thing is that she buys the kids some really odd birthday and christmas gifts, and then questions us why we don't give them to the kids to play with (our kids are 9 2.5, and 5years). For example, last christmas my newborn got a dress up outfit, my not quite 2 year old got a bike, and my four year old got a makeup set! An actual adults set, not the kids type. This year, for my 2 yr old's birthday, she bought him a basketball ring, a full size one! It's not that I don't appreciate her gifts, I do. It's just that she doesn't seem to understand why the kids won't, or can't, play with them. We've tried explaining that they're too young, but she tells us that she knows about child development, and that they are good ages for these presents! What can we say to her? With christmas approaching, she's starting to talk about more outrageous presents, and I'm wondering what to say! Lol, that's really weird! Well, I would try all the other suggestions, wish lists, list of choices, etc. If however she keeps doing it, try asking her to keep these toys (or at least some of them) at her place, for the kids to play with when they go over there. Then let her try and play adult sized basketball with a toddler, and help a newborn put on a dress ups outfit! She'll soon understand what you've been talking about then! Hope this helps, good luck. My fiance's grandmother does some weird things too.. She buys them underwear from Goodwill and other salvation stores like that, and give them to her grand children for their birthdays/Christmas/whatever other holiday. Not just underwear, but under shirts, socks, worn shoes... The family just accepts the presents, and takes them back to Goodwill. The point is, maybe it's just better to let her do her thing. That's what my in laws do.. They try and understand that Grandma grew up in a different enviroment where every piece of clothing may be your last, you know? Maybe your Mother In Law's family taught her that you need to grow up faster than kids really do these days? Just a thought. :) Good luck. Gosh what a strange situation. To be honest I think you've said all that needs to be said - they're not age appropriate toys and they'll have to wait to be used. Does she ever ask what they'd like? Maybe you can drop hints and use brand names like "Billy is really into Little People or Thomas the Tank Engine". My MIL is the same way about clothes. My daughter still hasn't been able to wear a winter coat bought 3 seasons ago. Well, I doubt your going to convince her that her gifts where not age appropriate. People that opinionated would rather debate you to death than accept an alternative opinion. What I would do, is have the children write a christmas list to Santa. Then show her the list, and ask her what items she would like to get the children, so you dont buy them duplicates :) It seems like quite a problem! I had a similar problem with my Mother in Law. What I did was gave her suggestions like 'She saw this in Kmart and really wanted it.' Let her know what they want and she may choose them. You may even choose the presents, and then tell her what about these. Give her hints. But she seems to be one who finds it important for the children to have a toy which is good for their development, for example, Fischer price toys. They usually create toys to develope cerebral development in young children so try and point the suggestions in that direction. Give it a try! Hope it all works out! To tell you the truth, I think this is common with mothers or grandmothers that are a little older. When I was younger I can remember my grandmother giving me things that werent age appropriate for me. Also I have seen that happen with other people. Just politely tell her again that you dont feel the things she is giving your children is appropriate for their age and you appreciate the thought but they just cannot use them yet. Tell her that you are sure they will love them when they get older but that it will take some time. Maybe if you suggest some things that they would like to have, she will get those instead. |
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