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As grounding is punishment to parents too, what can we do with kids who are stuck in, with no privileges? |
My 10 year old broke curfew on Tuesday night and then knowing he was grounded yesterday, snuck out of the house last night around dinner. I have written a contract with son saying 8 days grounding from friends and an incremental approach back to other privileges beginning on day 4, such as computer, bike ride with me, etc. I am divorced, so the punishment goes over a 2 week period. We only get one day in this week. I am there right now with my girls, 9 and 12. From experience, grounding can be a positive or negative punishment. The old expression "idle hands to the devil's work" is true here. The grounding period should be filled with chores and activities that bring the two of you together. Recently I grounded my 12 year old where together we shopped, cleaned her room and baked together. As far as breaking grounding. Last year at 11 she sneaked out during her grounding. We shared an activity alright, but she didn't enjoy receiving it! Then her grounding started over. In the future I suggest that you handle disobedience immediately, and not do things that will cause the punishment to linger into days. Writing sentences is my favorite form of punishment. For worse crimes, many more sentences...for smaller crimes, 10 sentences. If you are particularly upset about something your child does, 100 sentences is quite a punishment. My child will tell you that she avoids creating this work for herself, but when there is a problem, she will also tell you that I will not let her leave our kitchen table until she has "done the time." good question,all 3 of my teens are grounded and oldest still disobeys. I have done that before! I made punishments that ended up punishing me too.... with being grounded play board games and be inside with him, be grounded with him... then change the contract I'm also a single mom, my kids are only 6, so we're not at the grounding stage yet. I think 2 weeks is an awfully long time for a punishment. 2 or 3 days should suffice. When I waas a kid and got grounded, my dad's idea of grounding meant I had to stay in my room except for bathroom breaks and meal times. I was allowed no tv, computer (unless for school work) or phone time. While for most of my friends, it just meant they couldn't go outside. Personally, I didn't mind staying in my room, it gave me quiet time to daydream, something I still love to do! Like someone else suggested, make them write sentences. For a 10 year old, I would say 250 lines of "I will not break curfew" or "I will respect mom's rules" should do. I don't know, I think you're being to hard on him, and like you said, it ends up being punishment for you too. I would give him more chores and stuff like that for a few days. You don't do anything for or with a kid who is being punished other than what you would normally do. It's his problem that he is not getting to go outside and do what he wants. Make sure he has access to books and cards so he can amuse himself but otherwise nothing special. If he starts pouting than find him some extra chores to do. My kids are too young for grounding, but I used to give detentions when I was a teacher. First, the kids did homework. If they had no homework, they copied from texts or reference books. After the writing period, we did "housework." It was dirty work that needed to be done. Dusting, mopping, washing, furniture moving, organization, grading, hanging things on the bulletin boards and any other work that I couldn't do when I was pregnant. The worst part was listening to "my" music! I played classical, The Beatles, Earth, Wind and Fire, Simon and Garfunkle and folk music. I made detention so miserable that I rarely had repeat customers! Of course, the kids really did like it, but they would NEVER admit it! |
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