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Why won't my wife lose weight? I love her and I want her to be happy? |
My wife is about 100 lbs overweight. She has been for years. She gained it after the birth of our second child and never really lost it. I do not complain about it, but I (in the GENTLEST possible way), when she asks me if I would like her to lose weight, tell her that yes I'd prefer it, but if you never do it's not a really big deal. That's the truth - but the problem is that SHE is much more unhappy about her being overweight than I am. I have done EVERYTHING - cooking whatever diet she wanted, setting up a great gym in our garage (which she said she would use but now won't, with me or without me), inviting her for bike rides or walks with me and the kids - nothing. BUT she STILL whines and moans ALL THE TIME about how "unfair" it is about her being overweight. This is driving me crazy. I can't make it happen - she has to. btw I am in excellent shape and pretty much always have been. I love her to death, but this is hurting our marriage, and her health one day. I went and read some of your questions, I think youre just full of it. Lesson learned. If Im going to take questions seriously I have to check out the person asking first. you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. however that said maybe it's time for tough love. research about problems with obesity and talk to her about it. for example, my mother was over weight, had sleep apnea<she would stop breathing during the night> has really bad knees<falls down sometimes because they got so bad> and other problems. finally when we brought all this info to her and would not stop talking about it and how it hurt us she might not be around much longer she finally wanted to lose the weight. it was really hard to talk to her about if she doesn't change, she'll die, but it was the best thing we could do for her! good luck This is mean. I gained a lot of weight with my boyfriend and we pretty much stopped having sex. So that drove me to lose weight - because I have a high sex drive. Its hard. Maybe if you say, hey if you want to make time to go work out I will take care of this today. Help her, she may not have time to workout. Change the family diet plan. Say lets do this for the kids, show them how to eat right and excersise. I see your miserab le, do you want your kids unhealthy too>? Being obese is VERY unhealthy. Get her more active. TIME GOOD FOOD EXCERSISE I am in decent shape and my bf is overweight. And he stopped having sex with me because I put on a few pounds? I suggest to him to lose some weight for health reasons. I lvoe him the way he is. But I am scared he will have a heart attck by the time he's 30. OK, in my opinion your wife is in pain because she is obese. She doesn't really know what to do, but she isn't really that confident in her abilities to lose weight. She needs to find a weight loss plan that will let her eat what she wants (not all of the time), but make her happy too. Also, she needs to start working out again. Maybe after she works out, make her a special, healthy meal to reward her. The only thing is that you have to remember that don't be to forward with how bad you want her to lose weight and always be positive. If she loses a couple of pounds, be happy for her and support her. If none of this ends up working, I would recommmend gastric bypass surgery because your wife is at a very deadly weight and could acutually die of obesity. Good luck with your wife and I hope all will be well. She sounds depressed or lazy. I am not sure which. She really needs to do this for herself because being overweight can bring on many medical problems like diabetes and heart disease. She would feel so much better inside and out. If the doctors can't find anything wrong then she is just plain lazy. If you can live with it then go ahead. Personally I know I could not. It may be time for the tough love that someone else mentioned. Overweight can be for many things, not just eating too much. Has she seen a doctor for the possible other causes of weight gain? Start with walks in a park. Hold hands and talk about the future with her. She maybe depressed. Or eating at the wrong times. Portion size is always an issue that needs to be addressed. But no matter how gentlely you answer on this subject, it will lead into hard feelings. And an increase in food for comfort. I believe that if you put the emphasis on you instead of her that it may help. You need to improve your eating habits and need her help. You need her to walk with you because you maybe too lazy to go alone. Do you get it? Many times woman sacrific for the sake of our children and husbands. Put a reverse spin on this and help her to help you. Good luck. |
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