Moral dilema- What should I do

I live in a neighborhood right across the street from a family owned construction business. The people who own the business and the residence next door are very nice and we haven't had any problems with them, however-
Today I saw my neighbor out back talking to my 15 yr. old son and his friend so I went out to say hello and when I got out there I heard him scolding my son and his friend because a window on the backhoe of his construction business had been broken, which my son and his friend swore up and down they didn't do.
My neighbor said that since they had never had anything broken before and my son and his friend have recently been riding their bikes over there- it is assumed that the boys did it. He also said that the window is very expensive and that the boys would have to stay away from there from now on.
I took my kid inside and asked him, but he kept insisting that they didn't do it and that he would have come and told me if he did -(which, he usually, but not always, does tell me when he messes up big and is scared), but ultimately, I don't know if he did it or not.
Now, my question is- (finally!)
Should we offer to pay for the window?
We live paycheck to paycheck and it would be hard, but I wanna do the right thing.
And- if we pay for it- every time something in the neighborhood gets broken, will we be held responsible?

Invite them over for hamburgs and to discuss it and when heads are cooler explain it just like you just did and work something out.
A soft answer turns away wrath.

You are only obligated if there is sufficient evidence to suggest that your son did it. It sounds as if there is no such evidence. My advice, believe your son, unless he has a history of repeated such vandalism. And tell him you believe him, he needs to hear it. NO, you are not obligated to pay for the window, unless such evidence is forthcoming. And the boys riding their bikes over there does not qualify as sufficient evidence. Only then is it the "right thing".

I would put trust in your son and believe him when he says that he did not do it. If you feel you must, offer help to pay for the window, but try not to pay for the whole thing since you do not know if it was your son's fault at all. If you pay for it I doubt that you will be held responsible every time something gets broken.

Tell the kids to stay away from there and tell the guy that unless he can prove the kids broke the window, that he needs to back off. Tell him you feel bad for him having a broken window. If he has any proof of the kids doing it, then yes, offer to replace it and make the kids pay somehow, mowing lawns or a job.

We only hope our kids would be straight about this kind thing.

No, the burden of proof is on those that accused your son, If they are making a claim that you son broke the window because he was in the vicinity is does not make it neccessarily true. I suggest you comply with his wishes that you tell your son and his friends to not converse in that area anymore but I would not pay for the window until you have true proof that your child was involved in the incident.

I would say no. And that is not to be selfish. I believe your son is telling the truth. You know him better than anyone else, and if questioned with all that pressure I'm sure any kid would crack and atleast look like they were lying. I'd be nice and say I'm sorry but I don't believe he did it. Leave it at that, money is tight!

Well, I think wait a bit for your son to think things over, then explain how if he did break it, you wouldn't be mad, etc. (all that parenting stuff).

If he says that he truly didn't break it, then you should absolutely NOT pay for it. It is a business expense for them

absolutely not.
This man has no evidence, and what's more, if he thought that your son was involved then he should have brought the matter to you, his parent. He has no right challenging a minor like that.
Advise your son to stay well clear - this man sounds bad.

Nope, if there are no witnesses that said your child did it, than NO! you will have to take your child's word; you are not entitled to pay for the window.

Trust your son, he's more important than your neighbours. Innocent until proven guilty right?
And no don't offer, you shouldn't have to pay if you do not believe it was your sons fault

If you REALLY believe your child is truthful don't pay...but kids lie to keep out of trouble. If you do think he might be dishonest...pay.

The burden of proof is placed upon those making the claim; if the neighbour wants the money, he should prove your son did it first.

Don't pay for something that isn't your kid's fault. If he says he didn't do it, he didn't do it.

Do not offer to pay; there are no grounds for assuming that you have any responsibility in the matter.

Ask the neighbor if he has any substantial proof that your son broke his window.

No don't pay your son said he did not do it so trust him.
They just want some one to pay for the window.

No you do not pay,they assumed,no not good enough.

I wouldn't do it. Unless someone actually seen them break the window, there's no way to prove it.

Seems like he's being a grumpy old man! I'd sue him for harassment! lol

**** him

let him sue you and prove it.

Sounds like an Andy Griffith Show episode.

TV taught a good lesson. Have your son do some chores for the guy. xD

*munches banana*

This shouldn't be in R&S!

I wouldn't pay. That's what I would do. Not your fault that guy will get over it.

God wants us to do what's wrigt if we realise we where wrong. With what you say, you're not sure at all the kids did it.

I agree with WWDD.

I do not think you should offer to pay for the window.

It very easily could have gotten broken while they were using it, in transit, or in any number of other ways. I'm also not sure HOW your son or his friend could have broken a backhoe window on their bikes or even with a big rock. They are thick windows. Something else must have been involved.

There is not enough reason to suspect your son is at fault to offer to pay for the window.

Doesn't the company's insurance cover vandalizm? It is very unusual for a mother to be as honest as you've been about the possibilty of guilt. You must be a good mother, and I think the proof is your neighbor's to prove.

God's word does tell us if someone takes from us to give them even more, and that He will repay, but surely they are insured. I can't imagine such an expensive piece of equipment not being insured???

First of all I would find out if he made a claim w/his Insurance Co.
Second he has to have proof that you son had anything to do with the incident.
Just because the boys were riding around the area where the glass was broken in no way means he did it.
This is a free country and we can ride anywhere other than areas not permitted to enter. You mean to tell me if I 58yrs old was riding around the area for awhile I would have been blamed!! Hogwash!
Personally I would not offer to pay for the window. That is like saying ,Yes my son did it. Assumption is one of the worse thing
a person could do. I would state to my son do not ride anywhere near that area and see what happens.

First off, I have issues with other people scolding kids that are not theirs. The proper thing would of been for the neighbor to come to you, the parent, and tell you what happened instead of him taking the parenting roll from you. From there you could of said "Let me talk to him and I'll get back to you". I'd have words for my neighbor.

Second, only you know your kid. Only you know the look he gets when he lies. Trust your gut.

Third, your neighbor is making an assumption that your child broke the window. I wouldn't worry about it. As a business owner myself, a window breaking once isn't going to kill anything. If it keeps happening, then he should have cause for concern, but then again, he should get a camera for the outside of his building.

You might try talking to your son. Explain to him that this is a bigger deal than him just getting into trouble. Tell him what you've told us-- that you want to do the right thing, no matter what, and you need his help. If he still insists he didn't do it, you might ask him if he has any idea what *did* happen. Sometimes kids hear things that we, as the adult enemy, don't. After that, trust him. You know him better than anyone else, so you'll be the only one who can tell if he's being honest. Then call your neighbor, or better yet, go see them. Explain the situation and your decision. Also assure them that if it does turn out that your boy broke the window, you'll pay the cost of replacing it. Beyond that, there's not much you can do.

peace

No, I wouldn't offer to pay for it since it is not proven and your child says they didn't do it. If you know your child was a part of it, then yes, both otherwise, No. He said he assumed they did it just because they ride their bikes over there. I wouldn't do it. It could be someone else who happened to be over there when no one else was.

If there is no proof that your son broke the window, really there would be no need to pay for it...and if you trust your son you should believe him. Is there any reason he would need to lie?

It may seem like the right thing to do but it may not be necessary. You could be losing out overall..especially if you can't really afford to pay for it. He may also be able to afford this window quite easily.

Overall, do you need to stay on good terms with this neighbour? Maybe it would be wise to ask your son if he would be willing to offer help to this neighbour, possibly with helping to put in a new window. At least then the neighbour will understand that you are trying to help.
Though at the same time this offer will give him the message that your son did break the window. This may be hard on your son aswell as he may think that you do not trust him.

All things to take into consideration, hope I've helped =)

how sure are you that your son is telling the truth? If he is then dont pay...were other kids hthere too?? why is this here....this is relig