10 yr old son is a loner. Does this mean something is wrong?

My 10 yr old son does not have any close friends. He socializes somewhat at school but usually informs me that everyone is "stupid" and they try to get him in trouble. I have spoken with his teachers and they say he is a pleasant young man. He comes home and plays with the dog or rides his bike alone. He has one friend that he made at the end of the school year but now that summer is here the boy is not home. I enrolled him in a summer camp for 2 separate weeks to get him out and socializing and maybe see kids that he went to school with. But today he cried on the way there and said that he hated everyone. This happens every time I try to get him out with other children. I worry that this is the beginnnig of a troubled adulthood. He has been to counseling before and I am thinking of it again. Any suggestions?

Just a bit more info...he loves to play football but does not want to play on a team. He is popular with the kids at school but does not hang out with any of them. I dress him in nice trendy clothes. I let him have his own look. He is just very negative towards people.

Well im 16 and when i was 10 i was sort of the same way but it was because i would be in a new school new kids and i wanted to put out an image for myself to make the kids think im cool by pretending to be cooler then them in my mind and acting like i hardly wanetd to know them cuze i was too cool for them And honestly as the years went by when i turned 12 i got over that attitude so maybe he is experiencing the same thing or he is just the type of child who doesent like leaving there mommy and daddy If it continues try theropy =] but dont make it seem like he needs the theropy try to make it seem like a family type of thing or you'll most likely end up making it worse.

I don't know but Im sure everyone goes through it. No matter what age, they all think the world is against them. I dont know how it works in America but when it comes to Highschool then he should start getting out-going more often.

Have a few words and if it is that serious take him to a counseler
(Also not many Mums would take their Kids to counseling so give your self a pat on the back ;)

Best of luck!

My brother is like that, he's 13 though. He has some 'friends' at school but he says he could never get close to them because they are trouble makers-he just likes to laugh at their shananagins. But he's fine, he is by himself a lot in his room or the garage, that's just the way he is.
I wouldn't worry about it, you can't force someone to change.

One of my friend's oldest son he's about 19 he started being like this in middle school, and he never stopped. He told her a few years ago that kids bullied him really bad. He is a super smart young man, but it could have went another way. So try to talk to him and see if he is being bullied.

I'm having the same poblem with my 9 yr old son. He started getting bullied at the end of the school year because of it. I hope it is a stage like everyone else says. I don't think I can handle another year of this.

Well i'm 13 and i'm sort of like that. I don't talk alot but et i have friends. As long as he's doing good in studying, just let him go his way.

It's good that you let him all this stuff like camp, etc.. but think about other things in cases.

Maybe he has a bully at school and the kids are saying what the bully is saying. Throw a party for him and invite some of the kids and observe their behavior.

No, it's just a stage... I went through it too. It usually happens when a streak of events doesn't go his way. Then he gets a sullen attitude towards EVERYTHING.

how do you know he doesnt want to be like that. maybe its you. maybe he wants to be something different. take him to counseling if it bothers you that much

well im 13 and im the xact same xept im with a best friend and my close gf thats it...

Nothings wrong with that. I was like that when I was a child--I barely spoke to anyone

read the book "party of one: a loner's manifesto" it may help = )

lol
i'm like that too
i only have like one good friend.

I think boys that age are just sullen creatures in general - they want to act "cool" and "grown-up" especially if tey hang out with adults all the time, for example, if they have no siblings. He may be try to out-mature everyone.

The fact that you said he cried, though, makes me think something else might be wrong. pre-teen boys are NOT inherently emotional or dramatic, at least not any that I've ever seen. If he wants to stay home badly enough that he's willing to cry and have you think he's a baby, you may need to investigate whether or not he's being bullied, or whether he is embarrassed about something.

How's he doing in school? He could have a medical problem (and I know you think you would definitely notice, but sometimes kids are really good at hiding things) that is holding him back, like dyslexia, or a reading problem. Or he could have social anxiety disorder. I think you should at least consult with a therapist that specializes in children his age - even if you don't have to take him to therapy, they may be able to give you some insight.

Try to get him involved in something that HE likes. If he likes riding his bike, then ask him if he would like doing BMX....If he enjoys soccer, then get him in a league. You may even check out the clubs or groups at school and get him into a school group......that would help him meet more friends at school.

Why doesn't he have many friends at school? Do you dress him in clothes that he likes? Even though I don't agree, most kids at school are judged by their appearance and the way they dress. You may even take him to the mall and help him pick out some name brand clothes (bank account permitting) to wear ONLY TO SCHOOL (so he doesn't dirty them). I hate to admit it, but that's kids these days. Another thing you could "make-over" is his hair.....

Sit him down and talk to him about why he thinks classmates are stupid. The kids are most likely making fun of him. There's some reason behind him calling them that and you should talk to him and find out why. Ask him why he doesn't hang out with friends and what you can do to help him "be cool" at school.

well, im 13 and we had this one kid in ouv class with some anger problems. during theschool testing thing, he said he was gona cimmit scuicide. he takes everything to seriously. like one time, someone got the last slice of pizza, and he cried in the bathroom for like 3 hours. i dont really know bout your son, i made friends with a kid i hated, and now we hang out like every 3 days. make him go to the mall. you always meet friends that way. besides that, idk, ask em what it is. they probably make fun of him, push em around. one kid spat at me. chased em up the stairs, shoved his head into a wall. good thing too, he never messed with me again. anyway, hope i helped.

okay..its a good question..and heres MY opinion..i think you shouldnt force your child EVER into social interactions. if they arent ready or willing. then they never will be. i know when i was younger i resented that my parents did the same thing, because i was the exact same way. but u know what? here's what happened..( i love my parents but hated that they did this), they would do very similar things like u did, summer camp etc..but u know what..its okay to be a loner..let him have a few friends who are GOOD friends..rather thana group of *******..trust me its better..it shows that he has some taste for who he chooses as his companions..rather than just following the crowd..i actually commend that..and u know what happened with me? i ended up making more friends..i have my closest friends..the few i grew up with who are like brothers to me..but then i have acquaintances..and hell learn to do the same..so its not anti-social..its just choosing who you associate with..and i never regretted not having the largest group of friends, because i noticed that the kids who did were troublemakers..etc..i had my own little fun with my few closest frineds. i would definitely say let him be, dont pressure him at all! and see that it will work out.

My son is almost 10, and while he isn't having friend issues, he is having anxiety issues that seem to be escalating. Maybe they are getting ready for some big physical changes, you know, puberty, and it's manifesting itsself emotionally as well?

My son does tend to say over generalizations, like yours does, like "everyone is mean" or whatever the case may be. I think in some respects the world is still black or white, and they haven't developed the fine tunning needed to see the grey areas inbetween.

Good Luck, I'm having difficulty navigating this age as well.
Oh, and I am also getting counseling for my son's anxiety.

Kids are pretty dumb though. Maybe your son's maturity level is beyond the other children and he hates being around them because they are being children and he wants to be real. Adults are retarded too. I dont think anything's wrong with him he's just seeing average people for what they are... slightly evolved chimps. Probably the worst thing you can do about it is to overtly make an issue out of it. You can present opportunities for him to socialize, but don't push him or he'll resist and you'll make him feel like a freak.