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Why is middle age so lonely? |
I turn 41 this month. I have a great family, but few close friends. Wife is my best friend. Kids are great, but MAN is it hard to find buds. I'm not a bump on a log either. I'm up for just about anything. I know a few other guys with dirt bikes. I'll fish, hunt, shoot - just about anything but golf and bars (don't drink) - but try to make plans and it all falls through - every time. That makes it really hard to have male bonding time let alone make close friends. What's up with that? Is it the age we live in where everyone is so busy that they can't find the time to hang out, or has the American dream lifestyle turned us all into a robots? I don't get it. Any insight is welcome. I believe the absence of friends has to do with what you mention, lifestyle and priorities.. but that's only part of it. Other aspects are, difficulty in opening up with others and revealing one's true self, need to always act the role one has been cast in "ideal husband/wife, father, worker, etc"; difficultiy in relating with the other sex (and nowadays with one's own!) without having people believe that you're on the lookout for something else; lack of time and shared moments to get to know other people well. The friends we used to make when at high school were possible because we spent hours together and got to know each other inside out - that type of friendship is close to impossible. You might find someone when working a specific project, or field of study or in group sports, like basketball. What I also perceive is that some older people begin new friendships because their kids are grown and many of their age group have more free time and less priorities. Who knows? Maybe when we're 72....... Source(s): 46, female, great family, not american, extremely lonely. True friends are rare at any age, if you have true friends you probably can only count on one hand! Middle age isn't necessarily lonely. It sounds like you are blessed with a wonderful family. Take one of the hobbies you enjoy and join a local group. I'm sure you'll make male friends that way. |
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