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| *Vultures Knob>>>Dirt Bike |
A poem that I wrote :) comments? suggestions? Thanks!? |
MOMMY 4/30/07 MOMMY WHY DO YOU DO THIS MOMMY WHY DO YOU MAKE ME CRY MOMMY WHY WONT YOU HELP ME YOU FLIP SIT BACK AND SIGH YOUR WORDS HAVE BEEN THE ONLY KEEPING ME ALIVE YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD SAVE ME MOMMY WHATS WRONG I OFTEN WONDER WHAT IT MAY BE MOMMY PLEASE NOT AGAIN I DONT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS I THOUGHT WE PUT IT TO AN END MOMMY I CRY AT NIGHT AND ALSO WHILE I WRITE THIS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AS I DO MY LITTLE SIS MOMMY I THOUGHT YOU CHANGED MOMMY I MISS YOU SO IVE BEEN TORN INTO PEICES EVER SINCE YOU MADE ME GO MAYBE THIS IS FOR THE BEST A BITTER SAD GOODBYE OR MAYBE THIS IS JUST A TRIP ANOTHER UNINTENTIONAL LIE THERE YOU GO AGAIN MAKING ME WORRY MOMMY HOW DID IT COME TO THIS ITS ALL SO BLURRY MOMMY IM SORRY FOR BEING YOUR MISTAKE BUT YOUR REJECTIONS AT IT AGAIN IM ALMOST READY TO BREAK YOURE THE COOLEST MOM IN THE WORLD MOMMY YOURE MY FAVORITE PERSON EVER IT JUST HURTS ME TO KNOW THAT NOW YOU DONT WANT TO BE TOGETHER I WONDER WHY GOD DOESNT LET EVERYONE HAVE A GOOD LIFE ITS JUST NOT FAIR WE HAVE SO MUCH STRIFE MOMMY I WONDER WHAT THE FUTURE BRINGS I WONDER IF YOULL EVER STOP IT MAKES ME WANNA PICK UP A GUN PUT IT TO MY HEAD AND LET IT POP YOU CAN BE SO NICE BUT CHANGE IN AN FLASH RIGHT WHEN I DIDNT EXPECT IT A PAINFUL EMOTIONAL LASH MOMMY WHEN YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE AGAIN IT WAS GREAT I THOUGHT WE WOULD STAY TOGETHER YOU SAID YOUD SAVE ME FROM HERE NOW YOU SAY NEVER MOMMY I WISH I COULD GO BACK I COULD HELP YOU WHEN YOU GOT HURT ID PICK YOU UP WHEN YOU FELL OFF YOUR BIKE AND WIPE OFF ALL THE DIRT MOMMY WHY DO YOU CHANGE THIS ISNT WHAT YOU SAID RIGHT AFTER I START GETTING ALONG WITH DAD YOU MAKE ME FEEL LIKE I WANNA BE DEAD MOMMY KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU MOMMY KNOW THAT I WOULD NEVER HURT YOU MOMMY KNOW THAT I MISS YOU MOMMY KNOW THAT ONCE YOU LOVED ME BACK it's very emotional. a lot of feelings of being deceived, lied to. like his/her feelings were toyed with and treated like an object. however, maybe i'm not imaginative enough, but i can't figure out what the mom has been doing to the kid. was the kid abused? was the kid a child from a rape? or was the mom just mentally unstable and unintentionally made her child go through these traumas? maybe u could reveal a lil on what the kid went through. overall, it's nice. good job. (: Wow -- very good. One of the few poems that I actually thought was interesting to read. Although Freud would have a field day. Yes, this poem is his wet dream. A very sad and frantic poem, I always wrote poetry when I was sad or frantic. It needs some editing, but your emotions really come across. I hope it did for you what writing poetry should; which is to express and deal with emotions. Are you okay??? Do u need a shoulder to cry on??? but its okay. keeps you wondering. 0k so, nice poem.. it touched me.. but, are you okay?.. did you write this because its your feeling about your mom?.. what a melancholic/ phlegmatic girl.. It's good. Fifth line could be edited to sound like 'Your words have but kept me alive'. Good poem! Do you write haiku as well? I love to write and read poems and haiku. Do share some more if you have any. |
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