I have never known my father, he was a bigamist and used to rape my mother. He locked us in the house cut off the phone lines stole the mail etc so we had no contact with the outside world. When we ended up getting away he sold everything we owned.
My father figure when i was growing up from age 5 to age 13 was my mums boyfriend at the time. He was really crazy. He would blow up at mum and fight with her all the time, he played constant mind games and would punish us for nothing for leaving a cd out of its case we would have to write 10,000 lines. He would not let us go to friends houses or even out the front to ride bikes. He only ever used to buy us underwear and make us perade it to him when we got home. He molested me many times as a young girl and then called me a "sl*t" and said that mum never loved me.
My ex boyfriend used to play mind games with me. He took me to the country away from my family and he raped me and mentally abused me.
How do i stop being scared of men?? You need a fresh start and for that you need to purge the past, and for that you are going to need some therapy. You have been through so much, it's no wonder you are afraid. Some people would be afraid of all of life, not just of men, so be proud that you are strong minded. All I can really tell you is that I, too, was abused, and therapy had really helped me so I can tell you firsthand that it can work for you. Be sure that you really trust your therapist, but give it plenty of time for that trust to develop. what a awfull story....it takes a lot of courage to try to get over things like that.
i think you should find a boy, maybe a little shy that likes you for you and slowly built up to becoming bf and gf and do fun stuff like picnicks and stuff. Remember, many of the boys in your family have been awfull to you but not all boys are like that...there are some pretty good men are there |
