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OK, long story of fiancee cheating. Take her back? If not, how do I get over her? |
I am 26. My now fiancee is 20. We have been together for 13 months and last Nov she cheated, but didnt sleep with the guy, just dated him for almost 2 weeks. after catching her and her 'rents kicking her out we spent a weekend broken up then got back together and ever since, we have been stronger than ever. She is amazing and I love her with everything that I am. I proposed on June 1st and left for a 6 month deployment on June 3rd. We talk every day and everything seemed fine till she was hanging out with one of our friends and met his friend (who is married). They have been dating for the last 2 weeks or so and at the end of last week had sex a few times. When I confronted her enough times with my suspicions she finally stopped lying and told me everything. Right now we are broken up, her 'rents kicked her out again but this time changed the locks, she lost our dogs, her keys to my Jeep, the ring, and now she has to sell her bike. She says she wants me back, I know it is over w/ him. Okay.. I actually want to sit and cry with you right now.. People SUCK when they cheat. What's the purpose of telling someone you love them, right? After i read that the first time she cheated on you I actually thought to myself that maybe it was a mistake and that since you guys are stronger, you probably have a healthier relationship and she wouldn't do it again. Now the second time she cheated, as well as had sex with the guy, I'm so sorry to say, but I don't think she's ready to be in a committed relationship right now. You're 26. Looking to settle down already and she's 20. She's still pretty young and the cheating shows shes not ready to be married or committ. If you truly feel she loves you and you two can work things out, then try it out. You should even seek counseling with her. HOWEVER! don't give her back the ring. I'm sure you probably don't even trust her anymore and it's going to take a while to gain that trust back. I'm sorry for what has happened to you. You seem like a very forgiving and loving guy, but love can hurt sometimes. You deserve better, but it is only up to you and your heart to chose the right thing. In my opinion, I wouldn't go back with her. It's just not worth it anymore. Once a cheater, not always a cheater. But once a cheater, more susceptible to cheat again. You deserve better. You probably know that yourself, but you're hurting too much and don't want to adjust to a life without her now. Know that if you do leave her for good, you'll eventually be a happier and stronger man. I can promise you that. EDIT: If you want to help her because she has nothing now, then help her to some counseling. You need a woman to marry, not a girl. Ask yourself if she fills the spot to be a WIFE? What if you two had kids together? How would it be like? I understand that she might have felt empty and lonely because you weren't there, but isn't love patient and kind? If this woman is suppose to marry you, then her body belongs to you not to some other guy for two weeks. If you want to help her, help her as a friend for now. Let her earn back your trust. Don't give in no matter how tempting it can be, but look and see if she is going to grow as an individual. Don't let her make too many excuses for her wrongdoings..that'll only ease her into doing it again. She is immature and I strongly reccomend marriage to mature people, both need to be mature...not only you.... no dude.. make sure its over with u too.. u deserve better.. she is just a parasite... {} What are you serious??? You would even consider giving your heart, your life to this chick!!! No way. You are worth so much more. Sweetie, I'm sorry but I'm going to have to vote for you to leave her for good. I am sure you love her, but it's just not worth the future heartache. This is obviously going to be a continual issue if it's already happened twice. You're still young, and she is much younger than you. Probably less mature too. Heartaches are sucky and painful but they help us grow as individuals. Learn the lesson that this teaches you and give it some time before you get into another relationship. She is obviously not trustworthy if she has done it multiple times. It will only end it pain.. Dump her. Don't take her back. |
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