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My 12 year old son? |
I am going to re ask this question, I have a 12 year old who in the last year has gone from honor roll student with straight S's in behaivor to a C-D student with all U's for behaivor. He lies, sneaks, steals, and is disrespectful towards me. I have grounded taking away his favirot things like the TV and playstation which are locked up in my room and also took his dirt bike away. I take him to church not by force but because he asked to go and he cuts up and laughs during Sunday school and chruch basically what he does in school. I cant seem to get it threw his head that this isint proper behaivor for a young man, He has a great life and a very supportive family and his behaivor has me concerned. He is also ADHD which I feel at 12 there is no need for meds because at this age he should no right from wrong. Can any one give me some good advice not negative on how to get him on the straight and norrow? Thank you Reading your question I immediately though ADD, as you clearly stated later in the question. I have a child with ADD that was diagnosed at 8 years old. She is now 20 and finally able to deal with the ADD without the medication. Yes, she knew right from wrong, but her brain wouldn't slow down enough to comprehend the consequences of her actions... the lies, the attention getting behavior, etc. Maybe you should talk to his pediatrician. Not all ADD medication turns your child into a zombie... when my daughter started her adderall you could finally have a normal conversation with her without trying to keep up with the next 10 subjects that came out of her mouth. Good Luck and you are not alone! I urge you to rethink the ADHD and consider meds. You have a big problem, dear one, and I shudder to think your son may go the same route as my son. My son went to counseling and was referred to a psychologist, who recommended medication as well as continue counseling and get him in an activity that is strenuous. We started running together and I bought him an elliptical trainer (for me too) and he has come around, but still have bouts of less than stellar attitude. And just because he KNOWS right from wrong does NOT mean he can act accordingly. That is the problem you need to focus on. I suggest no soft drinks as well as no foods containing any dye. I pray for you and your son, dear one. Most likely the reason he wants to go to church is to SOCIALIZE instead of worship. I have seen this with my sister myself because she has it also...she started around 14 hanging around with a bad crowd and making bad decisions in life. If you are close with your son I would suggest talking to him about how he is hurting you and maybe he will open up and tell you what is wrong..Since he has ADHD you might want to do this when a lot is not going on...maybe before he goes to bed.. or after he is calmed down for the night..Tell him you do not want to have to do anything extreme in consequence for his bad behavior and that if he straightens up you will not need to punish him anymore...Also remind him in the long run what will happen if he keeps on this path.... have you talk to your Dr.yes i have known others that are on med. a lot younger and it helped a lot.it seems like taking away from them will make it worse.i have child with ADHD but know some. get him in to the Dr.he may need tharpy.it would not hurt to look into this. 12 year old son. Your child has ADHD, which I'm sorry to say, is something you're not taking seriously. Not getting him on medication is not a very smart thing to do, because it's not about him telling from what's right and wrong, it's about him having absolutely no way of understanding or control over his learning disorder, which is what you're denying him. I don't believe people should be depedent on medication, and I don't believe medication alone is the answer, but with medication- not only can it help him concentrate but it will help him get into habits to have a handle over his ADHD, along with your love and insistancy for him to focus. Bottom line, a 12 year old can not tell what's right from wrong, because no one can truly tell what's right from wrong, including you. Think about it.. even you're asking what's the best thing to do for your child. Don't be so hard on your son, who has absolutely no control over his disability. Read up and educate yourself about ADHD. The more you understand what your child needs, and his disability, the more control you have. My sister took her son of his meds at 11 and the same thing happened to him. She was determined that he was old enough to know better. But its not there fault they might know better but there brain is going like crazy. She ended up putting back on his meds. He went back to A's no behavior problems. At 15 he came of the meds and he's fine. It depends on the child. Talk to your sons doctor again and see what he has to say. I wish you luck. |
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