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| *Vultures Knob>>>Bike Insurance |
Can you please proof read this... (thanx)? |
Helmets Right for you 鈥淐hildren should always wear a helmet while riding their bikes.鈥? This common statement points to the fact that safety should be the number one concern in everything we do. Safety should never be an after thought. Teaching children the essential lessons when they are young is a safe investment in their futures. It should be obligatory to wear bicycle helmets, considering the amount of head injuries, sometimes fatal injuries in cases where helmets were not worn. The cost of long term care for head injuries is very high and could be prevented if helmets were mandatory. By insuring that children wear helmets, we teach them that safety measures are being put into place for their own advantage. Just as wearing a seat belt in a car is mandatory; wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle should also be consistently mandated. Choosing the use of helmets while riding a bicycle is a risk not worth taking. The danger to the child is not the only concern. In the case of a car- bicycle crash, there is the problem of insurance payouts and the like which will most probably be the driver鈥檚 responsibilities. If the one riding the bicycle had been wearing a helmet, the costs all around could be kept down, not to mention the reduction in losses. Many children come from homes with very limited income. Although these families may be able to afford a bicycle, they are unable to provide a helmet for their child/children to wear. Mandatory helmet requirements also prompt organizations to help fund the purchasing of helmets for those who could otherwise not afford them. In conclusion wearing a helmet is very important while riding a bike. It reduces the amount of head injuries, reduction in losses and lastly, mandatory helmets also prompt organization to help others purchase helmets of those who can not afford them. Wear a helmet, it will keep you going! I'd do it something like this: 鈥淐hildren should always wear a helmet while riding their bikes.鈥? This common statement points to the fact that safety should be the number one concern in everything we do. Safety should never be an afterthought. Teaching children the essential lessons when they are young is a safe investment in their futures. It should be obligatory to wear bicycle helmets, considering the amount of head injuries, sometimes fatal, that occur in cases where helmets are not worn. The cost of long-term care for head injuries is very high and could be prevented if helmets were mandatory. By ensuring that children wear helmets, we teach them that safety measures are being put into place for their own advantage. Just as wearing a seatbelt in a car is mandatory; wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle should also be consistently mandated. Allowing children to choose whether or not to use helmets while riding a bicycle is a risk not worth taking. The danger to the child is not the only concern. In the case of a car- bicycle crash, there is the problem of insurance payouts and the like, which will most likely be the driver鈥檚 responsibilities. If the one riding the bicycle had been wearing a helmet, the costs all around could be kept down, not to mention the reduction in losses. Many children come from homes with very limited income. Although these families may be able to afford a bicycle, they are unable to provide a helmet for their children to wear. Mandatory helmet requirements also prompt organizations to help fund the purchasing of helmets for those who could otherwise not afford them. In conclusion, wearing a helmet is very important while riding a bike. It reduces the amount of head injuries, creates a reduction in losses, and lastly, mandatory helmets also prompt organizations to help others purchase helmets for those who cannot afford them. Wear a helmet, it will keep you going. Source(s): I corrected a couple words, added some punctuatation, and changed a couple lines, to make them clearer. The words I corrected appeared to be spelled correctly, because they were correctly spelled words, but not the ones you meant to use. 鈥淐hildren should always wear a helmet while riding their bikes " you are 100% right . thnk you friend Helmets are Right for You OR Helmet's Right for You Afterthought is one word. Change "a safe investment" to "an investment." Change the semicolon after mandatory to a comma. Not wearing a helmet while riding a bike...or Choosing not to wear a helmet... Remove "and the like." There's some other awkward phrasing that I'm not addressing. PLEASE EXCUSE THE ALL CAPS FORMAT, BUT IT WILL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO SEE WHAT I HAVE CHANGED. I TAUGHT HIGH SCHOOL ENGLISH FOR 31 YEARS.) Helmets Right for you 鈥淐hildren should always wear a helmet while riding their bikes.鈥?br /> This common statement points to the fact that safety should be the number one concern in everything we do. Safety should never be an after thought. (ONE WORD) Teaching children the (DELETE the) essential lessons when they are young is a safe investment in their (move SAFE to here) futures. It should be obligatory to wear bicycle helmets, considering the amount (NUMBER, not amount) of head injuries, sometimes fatal injuries (DELETE injuries) in cases where helmets were (ARE, not were) not worn. The cost of long term care for head (SUCH instead of head) injuries is very high and could be prevented if helmets were mandatory. By insuring that children wear helmets, we teach them that safety measures are being (DELETE being) put into place for their own advantage. Just as wearing a seat belt in a car is mandatory; (COMMA, NOT SEMICOLON) wearing a helmet while riding a bicycle should also be consistently mandated. Choosing the use of helmets (Reword: PERSONAL CHOICE REGARDING THE WEARING OF HELMETS) while riding a (delete a) bicycleS (PLURAL FOR CONSISTENCY) is a risk not worth taking. The danger to the child (CHILDREN, not the child) is not the only concern. In the case of a car-bicycle crash, there is the problem of insurance payouts and the like which will most probably be the driver鈥檚 responsibilities. If the one riding the bicycle had been wearing a helmet, the costs all around could be kept down, not to mention the reduction in losses. (THIS LINE SEEMS OBVIOUS; IS IT REALLY NEEDED?) Many children come from homes with very limited incomeS. (PLURAL) Although these families may be able to afford a (DELETE a) bicycleS, (PLURAL AGAIN) they are unable to provide a (DELETE a) helmetS (PLURAL AGAIN) for their child/children to wear. Mandatory helmet requirements also prompt organizations to help fund the purchasing of helmets for those who could otherwise not (DELETE could and not and use CANNOT) afford them. In conclusion, (COMMA) wearing a helmet is very important while riding a bike. It reduces the amount (NUMBER, not amount) of head injuries, reduction in (SAY "REDUCES FINANCIAL" INSTEAD) losses and lastly, mandatory helmets (DELETE s) (LAWS) also prompt organizationS (PLURAL) to help others purchase helmets of (DELETE others purchase helmets of) those who can not (CANNOT) afford them. Wear a helmet, (PERIOD, NOT COMMA) it will keep you going! (ADD: AND ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO DO THE SAME.) TAKE ANOTHER LOOK AT YOUR LAST LINE. YOUR MAJOR PREMISE IS TO CHANGE THE LAW, NOT JUST GET PEOPLE TO WEAR HELMETS THEMSELVES. I HOPE THIS HELPS! |
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