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My son's father is negligent- what can I do to make it stop??? |
Iconsider my ex to be acting out of negligence concerning our son in many ways & he refuses to listen to my concerns so I'm at a loss at what I can do to get him to listen before it is too late. Our son is 6 but tonight my ex put him in the front seat of his truck (even though there is a back seat). I asked our son to move to the back my ex told him not to. My son has also came home on many occasions without being in a booster seat (for over a year now) and my son told me the other day my ex let him ride WITHOUT a seatbelt at all a few weeks ago because his back was sunburnt and it hurt. My son's grandmother (my ex's mother) also told me my ex told our son NOT to wear a helmet on his bike (plus it is the law). I really feel like my ex is putting our son's safety in jeopardy for no reason or just to spite me and its stupid. I'm not a person to sue but I certainly will sue the pants off him if our son ends up hurt but then it might be too late. I need suggestions to get my ex to stop! First of all, don't be overprotective. I understand the helmet on the bike thing (as long as you are talking about a motorcycle), but let's face it, most adults don't wear seatbelts in cars and they ride in them a lot more than children. I only had to wear a seatbelt with my parents when we went on long trips and I am still alive. i also rode upfront with them when they drove so they could keep a better eye on me. Sure, my mother was careful and watched what I was doing when I was outside, who I hung around and in situations where she was unfamiliar with the scene, she would take necessary precautions to ensure my safety. But she also realized that she couldn't put me in a plastic bubble and shield me from everything bad that might happen. I say tell the ex how you feel and ask him why he does it his way. If he tells you because he doesn't care or some immature response, then get hostile. If he just feels that some situations don't warrant being overly worried and he is not blatantly putting your son in horrible predicaments, then accept that that is the way he wishes to help raise his son and let it be. Think about this, what are you going to do when he gets older and you can't be there to cover him all the time? He is going to start going to school and playing on the playground, then he will start riding a bike. Let him grow up and find out things for himself like normal kids do. Be there when he falls down if he wants and teach him the safe way. Also, how much of this is because he is your ex? have you thought of moving to another state ?Or sending the cops over? Ask a cop to wait for him to drop off your son. I'm sure after your ex gets enough tickets, he'll remember to obey the law. whcwarrior_10 does have a good point, even though it may seem a little rude. When I was young, my sister and I rode our bikes everyday without a helmet and we never got seriously hurt. I remember my dad in the late 1960's 1970's driving around with a beer between his legs, while my sister and I were jumping up and down in the back seat with no seatbelts on, and we never got in an accident, nor did we ever get hurt. I understand that perhaps 1 in 1,000,000 accidents can end up in a serious injury, but the chances are very unlikely and laws are made to prevent that 1 in 1,000,000 from happening. But, with that said, it sounds like you'r husband has some big "Control" issues with you, and so he doesn't want to do anything you say. It sounds like he's sick of hearing you nag. But hopefully, he will do whats right for your child's sake, and for the sake of the law. Maybe stop trying to tell your ex how to be with his own son, and he will respond. You seem to forget that your ex is an equal parent, not your subordinate. Stop making demands. I rode a bike for years as a child without a helmet, and i dont know what state your in, but i have never heard of a helmet law for kids on bicycles.. In either case, I am sure the boys father will respond better to having his time with his son unaffected by your rules. He will never respond to you telling him how to run his life, or raise his son.. maybe try backing off. Good luck.... You have a choice. You can continue to complain to your family and them ignore your wishes, until some day your child is dead. Or you can complain to the authorities * Police * Child protective services It would help if you had some evidence other than he said she said ... for example, during a time period when you have custody of the child, take the child to their offices, and have the child participate in the statement with regards to this negligence. A 6 year old doesn't need a booster seat dumba*s. maybe that's why. The seat belt thing I agree with you. A kid should always have a seat belt. He's lucky he didn't get pulled over that's a ticket. The helmet well kids will be kids. Get a clue |
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