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| *Vultures Knob>>>Bike Helmet |
Well.. there's another short story and i want your reviews!!!? |
boy was going with his girlfriend on bike. suddenly he said that his helmet is too heavy and he asked his girlfriend to take it off from his head and wear that. then he said its cold and asked her to hold him tight. then they met an accident and the boy died and girl died as she was wearing helmet. and actually the brakes were failed boy made her wear helmet to save her and wanted to feel her love for last time needs some reviseing but it is a good story line You need a bit of help....happy day to you! It sounds like it could be a good story. well it's okay.. but if the breaks were failing then would they still have time to talk. The bike may be swerving from left to right. so sad they both still died at the end. It's good, I think it needs some work but good job overall! If you are 10 or under then it's OK, if you are older than 11 then you should think of an alternative career other than Writing. |
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