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Out of control 18 month old girl...and I want to run away to Mongolia and farm yaks. Any advice? |
My baby girl RULES the house, and it is not cool. See, back in the day with my son, we spanked his butt at this point and he is a little gentleman now, but things have changed to this point and now we all have to raise pur kids the way the white folks and Dr.Sears said. So, I can't swat her butt in the store during a squall-a-thon or when she swats the cart next to us and throws someone's celery on the floor and laughs about it. She knows it's bad, but she DELIGHTS in doing it. To me, that is behavior that deserves a spanking. So, what I do is try and keep her busy. We do a lot of outside activities. Bike riding, playing ball with the dogs, let her ride the big dog (a gentle giant great dane) , walks, rides on her sccoter, pick this color games, going to the park, etc. She squeals when she can't get her way in a pitch that would make Mariah Carey cover her ears. She has broken every blind in the house. I tried training her not to touch pictures, but she has climbed on...(con't) First of all, screw Dr. Sears and Dr. Spock. Ohhh girl! I totally feel for you. My daughter is just turning one tomorrow, but every time I tell her "no" or redirect her to not do something, she just looks at me and smiles. My parents spanked me too, and I am trying not to do it, but when it my daughter puts herself in danger of getting hurt, I swat her on the butt to get her attention (and NO you anti-spanking people out there, I don't beat her). It sounds like boundaries have to be set, but honestly if you have tried everything else and you are in the comfort of your own home, spank her little butt for her. I am betting you will only have to do it once or twice before she gets the idea that mom means business! Ahhahaha. When i mis behaved too much during the year, my father sent me to encampment. When i was undiciplined as an adult i joined the army. but since i think she's too young. The best thing to do is Punish her, take things away from her. or give her an allowance, and make her put a quarter in each time she mis behaves. Take away a little bit of her enjoyment, each time she mis behaves. if she gets something good after behaving, she will behave. she also sounds spoiled, dont give it to her if she cries for it. only if she asks nicley and says 'please.' sometimes its not always a good idea to give her something bad after she mis behaves. just take something she enjoys away. take something away when she squeels. if all else fails, send her to me. i'll set her straight. Extra: sometimes its best to be authoritive, and excersize your voice. My sergeant did it quite well. If you are loud, and 'scary' she will listen to you. or 'face the consequences'. You can't always be nice. Unfortunately I don't have any advice for you but want you to know I am in the same boat except it's my son who's about to be 2 next week. My daughter was the perfect angel. You told her no or not to do something she didn't. Never had to be spanked or anything. My son..up until 15 months he too was an Angel then overnight he sprouted horns. Like you said he screams and whines ALL the time, I head NO 1000 times a day, he'll swat at us or the dogs. I have swatted him a couple times but it doesn't seem to be a good idea since he's been swatting back. Time out has worked pretty well..I let him sit there until he calms down and totally ignore him until he does. I read that if the scream for 20 minutes and you say anything to them that's rewarding that behavior. They will think that however long it takes to get attention I'll get it...so we wait until our son is totally calm and quit whining or screaming then ask him to use his words and try and see what the deal is. I have noticed the past couple weeks he calms down much quicker using that technique then he did before. Good luck!! There is a huge difference between a spanking and a beating. I think it's ridiculous that parents cannot spank their children without someone calling CPS. Your daughter needs to be broken of this before it gets worse and if it take a spanking, then spank her. And don't reward her by your distractions, they were a good idea, but obviosuly not working. Take her toys away and put her in her room or some place where she can't hurt herself or any of you stuff. If she knows that she can't go anywhere, like the store for example, because she is acting up, then she'll stop. My two and half year old step daughter wanted to come with my friend, her aunt and I to Starbuck's this last weekend but she threw a fit over something at home and she didn't get to go. She apologized and begged but I stood my ground. When we got home she was so sweet to us. It can be hard as a single parent, especially when your kids miss their dad, which they probably do. She may be acting out because of her missing him. Addressing one issue at a time First, she should not rule your house. She has to have boundries, and those can be set without spanking. For bad behavior, warning first, then take her favorite toy away or put her in a two minute time out. It may not seem like that much time, but it's an eternity to a toddler. If she gets up during her time out, put her back and keep putting her back until she sits there for two minutes. When putting her back, do not speak to her and do not make a sound. Just place her back in that spot. If she cries about taking away the toy, tell her she can have it back when she quits crying and apologizes for her behavior. Second, children are not supposed to get their way all the time. They shouldn't expect it, nor should they be able to manipulate you. Let her cry, throw a fit. If she breaks somehting, go back to the time out technique. Lastly, after she gets out of time out, explain to her why she was there, give her a big hug and tell her you love her. ALWAYS praise her when she's good, but NEVER scream at her. Use a stern voice for disapproval or punishment and use a softer happy voice when she's behaving. Always give a warning before any punishment so that they know what's coming. After one warning, follow through. Most importantly, DON'T lose your cool. She's looking for that. well most of your answers to people questions are sarcastic and rude such as my question you typed for me to set up a rent a burka stand for women who should cover more when they are out with their kids. i am american first of all. i used to wear the tight clothes before.and i was christian i am 21 and a mom now even if i wasnt muslim i would change my dress code. so just judging by how you give your answers id say she got her traits from you. sassy and smartallick. so she is giving to you what you give to others. Sometimes behavior problems can be a sign of a more serious issus. Without knowing the little girl personally I'm totally taking a stab in the dark and not implying anything bad. Try taking her to a peditriaican and having her looked at. Before we can address behavior issues we must first rule out medical conditions. All behavior serves a function. The first trick in ending problem behavior is discovering what function it serves for the child. The screaming might serve an attention function. If she screams and you run over to her you are reinforcing her bad behavior. For a child any attention is good attention. If she's screaming just ignore her. Let her wail, moan, and cry. Feel free to place her in another location and walk away. Whie moving her, don't look at her or say anything. When she is quiet again you may pay attention to her. Screaming may also serve and escape function. If she's somewhere she doesn't want to be and her screaming causes you enough embarassment to remove her from the situation, once again her bad behavior has been reinforced. Again allow her to scream without paying any mind to her. If necessary remove her to the car until she stops and then bring her right back inside. She must learn that she can not get what she wants by screaming. If she screams when she doesn't get her way than it is about access to tangibles. She wants something you will not provide and she screams until she gets it. Even if you hold out for 19 minutes and get tired and give in on the 20th she has had her screaming behavior reinforced. All of the behavior you have described seems attention driven. This means, from this moment on you can no longer pay any attention to her while she is being bad. No correcting her, no yelling at her, no nothing. Remember, if you try this all behavoir peaks before it goes down. That means she will pull out all the stops to get you to pay attention again. Alot of parents give up when behavior starts to peek. Remember, at that point, there's nowhere for it to go but down. Good luck ......and if all else fails, I hear Yaks are lovely animals |
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