|
|
| *Vultures Knob>>>Bicycle Shop |
What should I do about my friend smoking? |
I'm 15 and my name is Ashley, when I was six and in kindergarten I made what was my best friend at the time. Her name is Deanna. We were really close an when we were in second grade my mom tranferred me from private to public school because the school wanted to fail me. The next year the same thing happened to my her. Than she was transferred and she turned on me to hang with the popular kids. She even teased me. Than in sixth grade we became friends again she cut off all her hair so I did do (our hair was really long by cut it off I mean cut it to our shoulders) when we were in eighth grade her mom got remarried so she moved ten minutes away. We sometimes talk on im but she keeps change her im so I won't know what it is, but will im me anyway) her grandparents house is ten minutes away by bike from me. Anyway she came over last week and asked I new if the local convience store asked for id to buy cigerettes. Than i found out she has been smoking for a year. She's 14. What should I do? Hello Ashley. I want to compliment you on being such a loyal friend. People like you are hard to find these days. As admirable as that is, it sounds to me like you have been a better friend than this person deserves. When she was transferred to the same school as you she teased you and preferred to hang around with what were considered the popular girls. You remained her friend. You say that she repeatedly changed her name on the instant messenger service that the two of you used to communicate and yet you remained her friend. Her grandparents house is ten minutes away and you are making the effort to see her. She did come over to see you but it sounds like she was interested in buying cigarettes as much as it was to see you. Still you are concerned about her and want to know how you can help her. I think that you have already gone far beyond what would be expected of a friend. If this person were your sister or if there were actually something you could DO to stop what she is doing, my advice might be different. You could speak to her parents and let them know that she is smoking, they are the ones that may be able to impact her behavior. Still, I am sure that you do not want to do that. If they knew what she was doing it is possible that they might be able to put a stop to it. It would depend on how much control they actually have over her. I am sure that your "friend" knows the dangers of smoking. It would be hard to be alive today and not know. She is making a conscious decision. It is a sort of self destructive behavior. She is choosing to endanger her health, to smell bad, taste bad, wear clothes that stink, have hands that stink, her hair will smell awful, her teeth will turn yellow......the list is endless. If her parents pay attention at all they will surely notice these things. She can tell them that other people were smoking and that it was not her and if they are naive they may believe that. I am afraid that there is not much you can do to help her. There is a great deal you can do to help yourself tho! Please DO NOT follow her example and start smoking. When she cut her hair off, you did too. That worries me. I hope that you have reached a point where you now know that following in her footsteps is not a healthy thing for you to do. As a parent I know that it is heartbreaking to watch a child befoul their perfect, pink lungs with cigarette smoke. As a mother who would not even stand in the same room with a person who was smoking when I was pregnant, it has hurt me more than I can say to see one of my children smoke. It feels like a failure although I know intellectually that I did all that I could. Please be strong enough not to pick up a cigarette no matter how this person might tempt you. Perhaps you can reach her by setting a strong example. If she sees that you, who have followed her in the past, refuse to mimic this new, ugly behavior, it may make a difference to her. However do not be surprised if it does not. She does not sound like a person who really cares what others think. I would still consider an anonymous note or correspondence of some sort to her parents. If my 14 year old was smoking I would appreciate with all my heart that someone cared enough to tell me about it. Do you still go to the same school? Is it possible that you could speak to a guidence counselor about this behavior? I am sure that they would keep your name out of it. Of course it may be that not many people know about her new hobby in which case she is going to blame you anyway. Unless you are prepared for that I would not attempt these things. Talk to her, let her know how you feel. It will probably not do any good but at least you will know that you tried and that is what matters. After that I would step back. This person does not sound like she is good for you. Surely a person with your qualities must have friends that appreciate her and care about her. You are a good person and you deserve much better from a supposed friend than what you have been getting. Do not allow yourself to be used by this person in any way. Unfortunatley we are judged by the company that we keep. I know that is a trite, old fashioned saying but it still happens to be true. Good luck and take care. If you care to write to me I would love to hear from you. Blessings Lady Trinity~ Source(s): Pregnancy counseling and mother of five. explain the side effects of smoking to her and tell her that you're only telling her this because you care if she doesnt want to quit then you can't really do anything about it personal experience I wouldn't do anything but i would find a new friend to hang out with it sounds like she has troubles of her own and is kinda messed up and if she gets in trouble she will bring you down with her. Stay away from her and make better friends if she was mean to you before than she wasn't a really good friend anyway You have been close friends for a long time and hopefully for a long time to come. Talk to her about the smoking but don't over do it. It is not a good thing from all points of view. Health wise money wise and in the long term as it becomes harder to give up. Just on occasion ask her her point of veiw and possibly and very gently talk about the problems associated with it. As a female one has to be aware that it is very dangerous for the unborn child. Possibly become involved in more exercise walking running creates a need to breath more and fresher air was a smoker when I was younger |
| Tags |
| Cycling Bike Race Bike Insurance Bike Repair Bicycle Shop Bike Tours Trail Map Bike Pedals Bike Lock |
Bike Categories--Copyright/IP Policy--Contact Webmaster |